I Made Weapons For Brinner

Tonight I attempted to make soy and dairy free biscuits from scratch.  Let me be clear, my idea of "from scratch" just days ago was really "from Bisquick".  Although Bisquick is dairy free, it is not soy free.  So, I used a popular recipe I found online and swapped the regular milk with coconut milk and used organic coconut spread in place of shortening.  

I don't know if it was the substitutions I made, too much kneading, not enough kneading, or the recipe gods playing a cruel joke on me, but these biscuits were far from spectacular.  They were flavorful enough, but were super hard on the outside and slightly fluffy on the inside.  I have decided to keep a few on hand in case we are attacked by ruthless, starving children.  I can pelt the biscuits at the vicious intruders.  They may leave a few welts, but I can be comforted by the knowledge that a somewhat edible biscuit lies on the inside of these flour rocks.